New Blog

After about 8 years on Blogger I have decided to move my blog over to WordPress. So come on over and read my latest ranting at:

www.jleeperphotography.com

Sin

This one's for you Fav, you should use it in one of your sermons. :)

A Story of Victory

If you like to read blogs, you should definitely follow my friend Karyn and her blog Girl of Cardigan. She has an honest way of writing that always leaves me pondering the meaning of life. Or the meaning of fashion. Or ways to save money...

Anyway I was catching up on her blog tonight when I came across this gem. It got me thinking about the victory that we already have in God. I'm going through my own personal stuff right now, we all are. And I'm really good at putting my struggles in perspective when I'm hanging out with orphans, rescuing people from the sex trade or in general just surrounded by a godless people in a godless nation. (That last sentence makes me sound way cooler than I am, definitely not tooting my own horn!) But I get home at the end of the day and I curl up in bed with my dogs and all my personal stuff comes rushing back in. How often do I acknowledge the victory that is already mine and give it all to God? Not very often. It's more likely that I fall asleep pleading with God to fix all that is wrong and give me a little peace.

But the victory is already mine, the battle has already been won. God doesn't need me pleading and begging for world peace, He's already got it in the bag, without my help. So I am trying to learn to give everything to him and rest in the victory He has given me. Seems much easier to do it His way.

Before I sign off, I have to share my favorite part of Karyn's post which I am still pondering (go read the whole thing!):

So often I look at people and forget to notice that they are more than the moments I’ve witnessed. We’re all wandering around with our baggage and our scars, and each one of us will remain a total mystery to a huge percentage of the folks we’ll meet. It’s comforting and terrifying, this knowing that we have all had to do our own overcoming, that each of us is breakable, that we have all returned from our own unimaginables.

Identity in Christ

There's a moment when you suddenly realize that you've placed a large portion of your identity in a person rather than God. Unfortunately that moment usually comes when that person fails you. Fortunately there is a God, the only true God, who is waiting to make you feel whole again. How lucky are we?!

Pagers

The following is a conversation I just had with Tam on Kik (which is awesome, btw. If you have it, let me know and we can chat.):

(Tam is in blue, I'm in green.)

Remember when you had a pager?

You were so cool.

Awesome.

I would page you and wait and wait for you to call.

And be like, "I typed 911, why isn't she calling?"

And I'd have to find a pay phone and then money to call you.

What was your code so that I knew it was you?

81

You're so 1996.

That is totally the year I got my first pager, I felt so cool wearing it. Sometimes I'd pull it out and look at it just so people would think I was important.

Or you would make it buzz.

I was rad.

I love technology and the fact that I can chat real time with my sister from the other side of the world for free.

I don't miss my pager or faking my importance...

Compliments From The Unknown

So I'm walking through the mall today and this woman comes up next to me, turns her head 90 degrees and stares at me. I look at her, smile and continue walking but she doesn't stop staring or walking right beside me. I look at her again thinking that maybe I know her, but I don't so I stop and smile at her again. She stops also and the following conversation happens (all in Thai but I'll translate it to English just cause I love you all).

unknown woman: "You are so beautiful."

me: "Wow, thank you."

unknown woman: "Oh! You speak Thai?"

me: "Yes, some."

unknown woman: "You are beautiful, so beautiful. Are you American?"

me: "Yes."

unknown woman, said while stroking my arm: "Oh. You are beautiful, I like you."

me: "Thank you so much."

And then we parted ways. I have to say that I like that unknown woman, she made my day. :)

Emotional Range of a Teaspoon

Those of you who know me, know that I'm a HUGE Harry Potter fan. A pre-order all the books, stay up for midnight shows, often quotes the books and relates them to every day life, owns a plastic wand kind of fan. One of my favorite quotes comes from The Order of the Phoenix when Hermoine is explaining Cho Chang to Harry and Ron and the following exchange happens:

"One person can't feel all that at once, they'd explode." -Ron

"Ron, just because you have the emotional range of a teaspoon doesn't mean we all have." -Hermoine

Every once in a while, usually when I'm caught up in some emotional roller-coaster, I think that it would be a lot easier to be a man. Men seem to be less emotional, more practical. I'm not saying that they all have the "emotional range of a teaspoon" but it's better than having the emotional range of the Pacific Ocean. So yes, sometimes I wish I was a man. Am I alone in wishing that? Maybe I am, maybe I'm not. Either way, I accept the weirdness of it, and I move on. :)

This past week was a really emotional week for me. At different points in time I was happy, sad, angry, joyful, frustrated, downright annoyed, thankful, exhausted, excited etc. In the midst of my emotional roller-coasters I tend to want to curl up, fall asleep and not wake up until my emotions have evened out. However, when the ride is finished I like to look back and figure out if I learned anything from it. Was there anything that God was trying to teach me or was it simply circumstances and hormones?

Today I looked back on the past week and once again, God brought Ruth to my mind. He's been doing that a lot lately. Ruth has always been my favorite woman in the bible and I've read her story a million times (okay, I exaggerate a little bit) because she inspires me so much. She was brave, wise, hard working, loyal, obedient and blessed. Ruth had some horrible stuff happen to her but she followed where God led her and He blessed her because of it. She left her country, family, home and moved to a country where her people were not accepted. Even after her husband died, she remained loyal to her mother-in-law and followed God. Out of love, she threw herself into a menial job amongst people who should have hated her and I imagine she did it all with a smile on her face. In the end she was blessed with acceptance and someone to love her and care for her for the rest of her life. I believe that when people looked at Ruth, they saw God.

I want to be like Ruth. I want to be unconditionally loyal to the people in my life. I want to work hard, without being asked, even if the job given me seems menial and boring. I want to be brave (don't we all!). I want to be obedient to those above me without feeling like I hate being told what to do (something I struggle with sometimes). I want to have God-given wisdom in every area of my life. And I want to look back and know that God has blessed me for following Him wherever he called. And more than anything, I want people to see God when they look at me. I want His presence and love to pour out of me so that the people I come in contact with can't help but be changed by Him.

That's not too much to ask for, is it? :)

I'm not sure exactly why God used this emotional roller coaster to show me these specific things, but I'm happy to be reminded. Lord, feel free to remind me anytime!

"I'm not saying that I have this all together, that I have it made. But I am well on my way, reaching out for Christ, who has so wondrously reached out for me. Friends, don't get me wrong: By no means do I count myself an expert in all of this, but I've got my eye on the goal, where God is beckoning us onward—to Jesus. I'm off and running, and I'm not turning back." -Philippians 3:12-14 (The Message)

"Summertime and the livin is easy..."

Each year as March creeps closer, I start cringing in anticipation of another Thailand summer. I'm a winter person at heart. At least I used to be, but after five years in Thailand I'm now a bit of a wimp in the cold. But I still prefer cold to hot. I love layering on clothes and curling up under piles of blankets at night. I love fireplaces and sitting next to the heater. I love the whole process of trying to get warm. I don't, however, love trying to get cool. There's only so much you can do, so many layers you can remove before you can no longer leave your house.

I'm pretty sure that God chuckled a little bit and His sense of humor came out on the day He decided to send me to Thailand. Thailand, a country that is hot 98% of the time. A country where the summers get so hot and humid you feel like you are breathing water. A country where you sweat so much that three showers a day just doesn't feel like enough.

And once again, here it is. Summer has arrived, my prayers that it would forget to come this year did not work. (insert sigh of frustration...)

The heat tends to make me lazy, I start procrastinating and don't want to leave my house.

And every year at this time, I start looking back on my life and wondering if I've accomplished enough. Sometimes I look back and feel incredibly accomplished, like I'm living the life I am supposed to live and doing more than I ever imagined. Other times I look back and feel like I have accomplished nothing, that I'm lazy and need to do so much more. Today I felt the latter. So I decided to fight it because it is obviously the devil whispering lies in my ear. He knows how to bring me down and I've decided that I'm not going to let him do it this time. I've decided to be positive and start writing down my accomplishments, the things the Lord has helped me to do.

So devil, you may as well back off, because you are not going to win this one!

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me!" -Phil. 4:13

Under the Red Lights

A while back I stumbled across a blog which I quickly fell in love with. The writer and her husband were getting ready to move to Chiang Mai to do missions work so I sent her a quick email to let her know that another Thailand missionary was praying for them. Unexpectedly she emailed back, we became friends on Facebook and now keep in touch. Ericka and Rusty have now been in Thailand for a few weeks and I'm looking forward to meeting them (in person) when I get back to Chiang Mai in a couple weeks.

They recently posted this video on their blog and it really touched me because it shows such raw emotion about something that is very common place in Thailand. It's something that people don't like to talk about but it's a problem that runs rampant and needs to be stopped. Even after 5+ years, it still hurts me every time I see it, which is sometimes daily. Anyway, I wanted to share this video so others will be aware of the problem and be praying!!

Under the Red Lights from Rusty Jackson on Vimeo.

Christmas and Ya's Birthday

Christmas in Thailand is always an experience. I always get really homesick around the holidays, I miss my family and long to spend Christmas day with them. Unfortunately finances make that impossible so over the past few years, I've created my own Christmas traditions.

Every year on Christmas Eve a group from church goes caroling. Caroling is a very different experience in Thailand and consists of lots of plans and lots of food. People from church sign up to host the carolers and the group goes from house to house. After they sing, they are invited in and fed a lot of food, spending 30 minutes to 2 hours at each house. This year I got the last slot of the night and the carolers were supposed to show up at midnight. Aon, Ya and myself prepared food and drinks and sat down to watch movies while waiting. Midnight came and went. 1am, 2am, finally at 2:30am the carolers showed up. They sang, ate, hung out and finally went home before 4am. I decided that I am way too old for middle of the night parties! But over all, it was great fun!


After the carolers left, Aon, Ya and myself decided to go ahead and open our gifts to each other so that we could sleep late in the morning. Guess what? I bought Aon a new watch, Aon bought Ya a new watch and Ya bought me a new watch. It was pretty funny!


This was Isaac when we finally went to bed after 4am. Isn't he cute?!


One of the best parts about Christmas day is that it is also Ya's birthday. This year we celebrated with a group of friends at Paul and Donna's house. We had Christmas dinner and a birthday cake for Ya. But the best part was just hanging out with my Thailand family and enjoying the holiday. Here's a few photos from the evening:
Ya with her birthday cake.

Me with Gary and Evelyn, a very inspiring missionary couple in their 90s.

The PMI Gang: Donna, me, Ya, Aon, Paul.

My Thai family: Dakhota, me, Ya and Aon.

Mae Toh Outreach

On December 18th we headed out to Mae Toh for our annual outreach at the kid's home/church there. It was a great day of ministry and fun and I'm already looking forward to next year! We gave away 500 pairs of shoes and lots of snacks. Rather than write more, I think I'll just share some of my favorite photos of the day. :)

Faith Village Outeach

Faith Village was started about 20 years ago by a Christian couple, David and Paula. Paula is American and David is half Thai, half Burmese. David comes from a Burmese people group called the Shan and he had a heart and a calling to save more Shan people. Unfortunately the Shan people have been in a desperate situation for a long time and many of them were fleeing to Thailand to escape persecution. Thousands of children were being captured in Burma and forced to become child soldiers and David aimed to rescue them. It started with seven boys and has since grown into what we now call Faith Village, a home and church in Thaton, Thailand.

As a ministry we visit Faith Village (FV) every three weeks to spend time with the kids, teach the adults and pour ourselves into the people there. It has become something that I look forward to and every time I go, it feels a little more like home.

On December 10-11, the PMI team (myself, Aon, Ya, Paul and Donna) drove the 3 hours to Faith Village for our annual Christmas outreach, bringing with us an American team of 9 people. We also brought 500 pairs of Crocs and snacks to hand out to the children.

Our first outreach was to a brick village near FV. Years ago some Shan people escaped into Thailand but were not able to get jobs because they are illegal. So they started their own brick factory which has since grown and now provides jobs and housing for many refugees. We sang songs with the kids, shared the gospel and gave away the shoes and snacks to the kids. It was a lot of fun and I loved seeing how they made the bricks. I took some great photos but unfortunately all my photos were deleted when my computer crashed a few weeks ago. :(

Our second outreach was to a village in the midst of hundreds of orange groves. Most of the people had never heard about Jesus before and they had definitely never had any foreigners visit. There was a little building where we set up to share the gospel and give away the gifts. As soon as we showed up, we were mobbed by hundreds of people who were so excited that we were there. They filled the building, there were people hanging in the windows and there were tons sitting outside. It was crazy and chaotic but I couldn't stop smiling the whole time. It is so amazing to share the gospel with people for the very first time!

Our last outreach was back at FV where one more time we shared the gospel and gave out gifts. Overall it was a great weekend and God was moving! Here is a video of the weekend that the team took followed by a couple photos that Aon took:

Shoe drop from Sarah Dale Simpkins on Vimeo.

Happy Father's Day/Birthday

Today is the King of Thailand's 83rd birthday. In honor of His Majesty, I give you the king's anthem.

Interesting fact: Father's Day and Mother's Day in Thailand always fall on the reigning King and Queen's birthdays.

Happy Father's Day to all the dad's out there!

And Happy Birthday to HM the King! :)

Christmas Wish Lists

A few people have been asking for Christmas Wish Lists from Aon, Ya and myself and we got super duper excited at the thought of having Christmas gifts this year! However, we didn't expect it to be quite so hard to figure out what to ask for. :| So I've put together this list which ranges from really expensive (dreaming big) to not at all expensive (dreaming realistically). I'll be adding to it as we think of things so if you don't see something that you want to send, check back later or just surprise us! :)

Jen’s Wish List

iPad

Kindle

iTunes Gift Cards

Pants, size 14

Shirts, size L

Books (Fantasy/SciFi/anything!!)

TOMS shoes, size 7, any color

Aon’s Wish List

iPod Touch

Levi’s, size 29/29

Pants, size 2/4

Shirts, size S

Silver jewelry

Ya’s Wish List

Crocs *Crocband Flat, size 7, color black

Sewing Machine

Recipe Books

Craft Books (sewing, beading, etc.)

Pants, size 4/6

Shirts, size S/M

General Things for all 3 of us:

Money towards a beach trip that we hope to take next year (the girls have never been)

Snacks (granola bars, trail mix, anything)

Toothpaste (Aquafresh, Mentadent refills)

Melatonin

Benedryl

Vitamins

Ibuprofen

If you've made it this far, let me tell you a little about us in case you want to free lance in your gift giving. :)

Aon is 33 and very down to earth. You wouldn't know it upon first meeting her but she loves fashion; pretty clothes, jewelry, etc. She likes to take pictures and see the beauty in the things around her that most people might not mention. Aon is our teacher, preacher and friend.

Ya is 32 and crafty. She can fix pretty much anything that is broken and enjoys doing it. She loves to bake and her baked goods are amazingly delicious!! She enjoys sewing and dreams of one day owning a sewing machine. Ya and my mom would get along great! Ya is our dreamer with a smile that lights up a room.

I'm assuming that you already know me if you are reading this. But if not:

Jen is 31 and a bit of a book nerd. She's a homebody who is content as long as there are books and friends nearby. She loves technology and thinks the internet is a God-send! Jen loves to write and take photos and even more, she loves when her photos make others smile. Jen is our documenter, recording our lives as we go, on film and in print.

If you would like to send Christmas gift to these wonderful (and very poor) girls, they can be sent to:

178/236 Moo 7, WCL

T.Nong Kway, A. Hang Dong

Chiang Mai, 50230

Thailand

Any questions? :)

Cultural Differences

My latest e-newsletter.


I’ve been thinking about cultural differences a lot lately. Whether the culture we are a part of is the country we live in, our age group or the color of our skin, it defines who we are. I live in a country where the color of my skin causes me to stand out and daily I am referred to as a “farang”, meaning foreigner. I am constantly receiving comments about how white my skin is, how blue my eyes are and how light my hair is. Needless to say, it’s impossible for me to forget that I am living in a culture that is not my own.

My closest friends are two Thai girls named Aon and Ya who are around my age. We work together, live together and hang out together. We’ve gotten to know each other so well over the years that we tend to talk the same, act the same and finish each other’s sentences. We’ve even developed our own form of Tainglish (half English, half Thai) language. Because we are so close, I often forget that we are actually from very different cultures.

The other day there was a story on the news about a sixteen year old girl in America who ran away from home. Ya asked me why the girl would run away from a good home, what she was thinking. I said “You know how it is when you are sixteen and you have no responsibilities but think you know everything. You rarely think of anyone but yourself.” At this both Aon and Ya stared at me in confusion and I remembered again that we are from different cultures, different worlds.

The girls grew up in farming towns in Southern Thailand. They finished school at age twelve and both moved alone to Bangkok at the age of thirteen to work. They got positions in homes where they cleaned, cooked, took care of children and the elderly and did pretty much anything else they were told. They worked seven days a week and made about $20 a month, all of which was sent home to their families. Families that they didn’t see for a year or two at a time. By the age of eighteen, they were making about $35 a month and by the age of twenty-five, they were making about $65 a month. I once asked them as kids what they dreamed about being when they grew up. It broke my heart to learn that they didn’t dream of anything because once they were old enough to think about their future, they already knew they were being sent away to support their families.

When I was thirteen the biggest decision I had to make was what outfit would make me look the coolest at school. I didn’t even have a job until after I graduated high school. We grew up in completely different worlds, different cultures.

A large percentage of the world grows up like Aon and Ya did. Kids all over the world are being sent to work at incredibly young ages because their families are too poor to keep them in school. I can’t help but be incredibly thankful for the childhood I had, for the things my parents gave me. I don’t write this because I feel sorry for Aon and Ya. I’m thankful for the experiences that they had because it made them who they are today, my best friends. I write this because I think that sometimes we need to think outside of our own culture, we need to re-evaluate our priorities and remember what is truly important in our lives. What is important to you?

Hidden Beauty

I've been sorting through my photos lately and thought I'd post a few from my trip to Mae Sot last month. These are from the trash dump we visited, where people are literally living on and in the trash. Their circumstances were horrible but their smiles were beautiful!!

Sneeze

This video is hilarious! I just had to share it because it made us (Aon, Ya, me) laugh so hard. Watch the mom...

Focus, Week 6

I couldn't decide on 2 or 3 this week... :)

Focus, Week 5

Memory... is the diary that we all carry about with us. ~Oscar Wilde

This is the story of how I became friends with Charissa. :)

In the summer of 1993 I was 14 years old and attending my first year of high school summer camp. I'd been going to Heavenly Hills Christian Camp every summer since I was 5 years old but this year was going to be different because I was finally a high schooler. Which of course meant that I was completely grown up and knew everything that I would ever need to know. (ha!) For some reason, my older sister wasn't at camp that summer but one of her best friends was and I spent the whole week hanging out with DeeDee, who was a senior. DeeDee made me feel older, cooler and not quite as awkward as I knew I was. She also introduced me to a boy named Jason who was 16 and really cute. One night after the camp fire, we were all hanging out talking and Jason held my hand and asked me to attend the banquet with him at the end of the week. For any of you who was ever a 14 year old girl, you know that having the attention of a 16 year old boy makes you feel like you are on top of the world. Friday night rolled around and DeeDee helped me get dressed up and ready to go and I felt like a grown up, at least 16. :) We were sitting at the table eating dinner and the next table over was full of girls that I didn't know. They kept throwing things at me, mostly bread but one of them even threw a fork at me. I was totally confused about why they were doing this but tried to just ignore them and not be embarrassed by it. Still I couldn't figure out what I had done to make them not like me when they didn't even know me. All in all though, the night was fun. I talked to Jason a couple times after camp that summer, but nothing serious ever happened because after all, I was only 14. I do remember that he called me one night the following October, I remember because it was the night before my surgery which was a major event in my life. He told me not to be nervous because everything would turn out fine and I think that was the last time I ever spoke to him. But I'm getting off course, this post is about Charissa after all!

About a month after camp, I got a phone call from a girl who told me her name was Charissa and she knew me from camp. She called to tell me that she was sorry. She was sitting at the table next to mine at the banquet and it was her and her friends that were throwing things at me. She told me that the previous summer one of them had liked Jason (I don't remember if it was her or one of her friends) and the reason they threw stuff at me was because they were jealous. She said she was very sorry and asked if we could be friends.

I remember hanging up from that phone call and thinking she was pretty amazing for being brave enough to call and apologize. And I remember thinking that I definitely wanted to be friends with her, even though I still wasn't even sure what she looked like.

Charissa and I are still friends, 17 years later. We haven't seen each other since college but we keep in touch over email and I still consider her a great friend. And every time I think about how our friendship started, I can't help but admire her. I don't know what led to her making that phone call but she taught me a valuable lesson that day and I'm so glad that we are still friends. I hope that if I ever do someone wrong, I will be as brave as she was.

There was another time that she called me and I remember every word of our conversation (it was very short). She asked me how I was and when I told her I was fine, she said, "Are you sure?" I told her I was fine and she hesitated for a moment and then asked again, "Are you sure?" At that point, our phone call got disconnected and I couldn't call her back. But the thing was, I wasn't fine. My grandpa had died and moments before the phone rang, I had just found out and was sobbing. After that call, I decided that I was going to be more honest when people asked me how I was and to this day I still try.

I'm not sure why but I've been thinking about Charissa a lot lately. Over the years we hung out in and outside of camp until college when we both moved away. I'd love to hang out again sometime but in the meantime, thank you Charissa for the valuable lessons you taught me. I still admire you, 17 years later. :)