I long to be a strong woman who can take care of herself and never cries or shows pain, but I am not.
Yesterday after church I went to the hospital to take care of a problem with my foot and walked out later with a pretty large hole in the bottom of my foot. I thought that I was pretty tough because it didn't hurt and I never even cried during the procedure. An hour later when the numbness wore off, I was no longer that tough, strong woman that I long to be. But I went to help I friend move anyway and tried to push through the pain. Unfortunately I overdid it, tripped and smashed my finger extremely badly. Within seconds it was four times the normal size and dark purple. I have to give myself credit though because I still didn't cry. I did shake quite a bit though. Today my finger is still twice its normal size and I can't bend it all the way. Maybe it is broken.
I wish that I was stronger.
I also long to be the kind of women who can take care of herself and do things like fix cars and build stuff, but I'm not.
On Saturday I accidentally locked the spare bedroom door in my house and closed it. I tried to be like Tamara (who is like MacGuyver) and pick the lock with bobby pins, but after thirty minutes of trying I gave up and called Nathan and Paul to come help me. They came over and had the door open within minutes, thanks to Nathan's long arms. Yesterday (Sunday) after the foot surgery and the finger smashing, I could not drive my motor bike home so Nathan had to drive me. While he and Paul were there, I talked them into helping me move some furniture. Tonight Nathan is coming over to help me hook up my washing machine because I have failed to figure it out on my own. Thank goodness I have people around to take care of me.
I wish that I was stronger
Monday, February 19, 2007
Thursday, February 15, 2007
This is Tamara
This is Tam. Just wanted to tell you all to check out Jenni's new Flickr Photo Badge! If you click on it it will send you directly to her photo blog. I have also added a pic for her profile...
I straight up pimped her page yo! (in less gangster terms, I fixed her page up a bit and added a few fun little doo-dads.)
peace.
Tam
Monday, January 22, 2007
back in the swing of things
So I am now back in Chiang Mai and starting to get back into the swing of things. Two months was a really long time to be away and I missed out on a lot of things here that I am trying to catch up on now.
When I got back, my closet smelled really bad and upon cleaning it I found a decomposing mouse in my computer bag. That was unpleasant and I still have not completely gotten rid of the smell.
I got Gracie back and my worry that she would not remember me was completely dumb. She remembers me and doesn't seem to hold it against me that I left her for two months. Her hair was so long that I couldn't see her eyes or the ticks that were hiding in there. After digging a tick out of my stomach, I drove her to the groomer and had all her hair shaved off. That was also unpleasant.
On the other hand, it is great to be back at The Centre. When I got here, there was a team of 16 YWAMers helping out and that was a bit overwhelming, but still good to be back. I am starting my classes today and really looking forward to teaching again. I have missed my students and friends.
The internet has not been working. I am connecting right now by wireless and not on my regular computer and the connection has already gone out twice during the writing of this post so I should probably finish it up before it goes out again. I will post pictures of my trip home as soon as I get the internet working again.
Please pray for my friend Oil. Her dad passed away unexpectedly this past weekend. We are going to the funeral tonight. Please pray for her and her family, they do not know Jesus and I can't imagine going through this without Him.
When I got back, my closet smelled really bad and upon cleaning it I found a decomposing mouse in my computer bag. That was unpleasant and I still have not completely gotten rid of the smell.
I got Gracie back and my worry that she would not remember me was completely dumb. She remembers me and doesn't seem to hold it against me that I left her for two months. Her hair was so long that I couldn't see her eyes or the ticks that were hiding in there. After digging a tick out of my stomach, I drove her to the groomer and had all her hair shaved off. That was also unpleasant.
On the other hand, it is great to be back at The Centre. When I got here, there was a team of 16 YWAMers helping out and that was a bit overwhelming, but still good to be back. I am starting my classes today and really looking forward to teaching again. I have missed my students and friends.
The internet has not been working. I am connecting right now by wireless and not on my regular computer and the connection has already gone out twice during the writing of this post so I should probably finish it up before it goes out again. I will post pictures of my trip home as soon as I get the internet working again.
Please pray for my friend Oil. Her dad passed away unexpectedly this past weekend. We are going to the funeral tonight. Please pray for her and her family, they do not know Jesus and I can't imagine going through this without Him.
Tuesday, December 19, 2006
My Hero
Forrest Smith at the Dallas Thai Consulate is my hero. I got my Thai visa in the mail today that will let me stay in Thailand for all of next year. Forrest is great at his job and should definitely be promoted. I said this last year when he gave me my visa also...
Saturday, December 16, 2006
Question of the Day
Tamara started this question of the day blog and I am now going to try and answer the question.
"If a movie were made about you and your life or at least a portion of your life what songs would be in the soundtrack? List five..."
*By the way, this is really hard for me because I really love music but tend to love the not so popular stuff."
1. Sisters by Betty and Rosemary Clooney because as Tamara hinted at in her blog, this is our song and we do a pretty darn good version of it ourselves!
2. Designer Genes because my sisters and I were forced to sing that in church and at social gatherings our entire growing up years (even in high school) until we grew to hate the song. I also had a mortifying moment at a concert when the woman who sang the song called me up onstage and made me sing it with her... I don't mind the song now, it makes me smile with memories.
3. Stay by Lisa Loeb because Tam, Krissy and I had a tape that played the song over and over and in high school we used to drive around with the windows down singing it at the top of our lungs. I still sing it at the top of my lungs and I wish I knew where that tape went.
4. As The Deer (the worship song) because whenever I think of family, I remember how my family used to drive around in the car singing worship songs together and that is the first one that comes to mind in those memories.
5. Halloween from Rent because it represents my love for musicals and how I can lose myself in them and listen to the soundtracks over and over until I know every single word. Rent was the first musical that I memorized. The song Halloween is the start of my favorite part of the musical.
"If a movie were made about you and your life or at least a portion of your life what songs would be in the soundtrack? List five..."
*By the way, this is really hard for me because I really love music but tend to love the not so popular stuff."
1. Sisters by Betty and Rosemary Clooney because as Tamara hinted at in her blog, this is our song and we do a pretty darn good version of it ourselves!
2. Designer Genes because my sisters and I were forced to sing that in church and at social gatherings our entire growing up years (even in high school) until we grew to hate the song. I also had a mortifying moment at a concert when the woman who sang the song called me up onstage and made me sing it with her... I don't mind the song now, it makes me smile with memories.
3. Stay by Lisa Loeb because Tam, Krissy and I had a tape that played the song over and over and in high school we used to drive around with the windows down singing it at the top of our lungs. I still sing it at the top of my lungs and I wish I knew where that tape went.
4. As The Deer (the worship song) because whenever I think of family, I remember how my family used to drive around in the car singing worship songs together and that is the first one that comes to mind in those memories.
5. Halloween from Rent because it represents my love for musicals and how I can lose myself in them and listen to the soundtracks over and over until I know every single word. Rent was the first musical that I memorized. The song Halloween is the start of my favorite part of the musical.
Thursday, December 14, 2006
It has been almost a month since my last post, I have traveled to many different places, not to mention the fact that I am in a different country now and yet I sit here wondering what to write about. I guess that I am just not in the mood to blog but I owe a couple of you an update so I will type away about my life right now until I have a sufficient enough entry... :)
I think that I will talk about my travels. Back in November (before I left Thailand), Rachel and I decided to take a little vacation together. We flew south to Phuket and then took a two hour boat ride to the island of Phi Phi in Thailand. Apparently this island is an extremely popular tourist attraction due to the fact that the movie "The Beach" was filmed there and every single hotel room on the island was full. People were actually having to get back on the boat and leave right after they got there. Good thing we made a reservation. The island was beautiful and we had fun but I would prefer something a little less crowded.
While there, Rachel and I decided that we would try scuba diving because it was cheap and adventurous. Let me mention first that my biggest fear is drowning. I used to get sick in cars that went over bridges because I had a fear of plummeting into the water and not being able to get out of the car and therefore drowning. Ridiculous I know. I think that this fear stems from the fact that I had asthma really bad when I was younger and I remember what it feels to not be able to draw a breath. But I decided to put on a brave face and try scuba diving anyway. The night before we dived, we had to attend this training session that consisted of sitting at a table and listening to a guy talk. There was no water involved yet but I found myself hyperventilating just at the thought of being so far under the water. That should have been a big enough sign and had I listened to the voices screaming inside my head, I would have canceled the dive right then. But I wanted to be brave. Anyway, I won't go into any more details and bore you, but the story ends with me losing consciousness under the water having to be brought back up to the boat by the guide. I have never been so scared in my life as I was when I regained consciousness and was still under the water with the world spinning around me. I will never go scuba diving again. Okay, I might try it again years down the road when I have forgotten the terror I felt that day. They make it look so easy in the movies...
My next trip was to the states. I flew from Chiang Mai to Bangkok, Bangkok to Taipei and then Taipei to San Francisco. The flights were completely uneventful except for some turbulence on the last flight and I was so happy to be back in the U.S. I keep thinking that someday I will get used to flying because I seem to do so much of it, but I hate it every single time.
I have been here for almost a month now and it is good to see my friends and family here. I spent some time in San Jose and then a couple days in San Diego and now I am in Missouri. When I got here there was snow on the ground and I thought that I was going to freeze to death. My body has definitely acclimated to the Thailand heat and humidity! It is supposed to snow again on Christmas which will be my very first white christmas that I can remember.
I miss Thailand. I miss my friends and my dog and The Centre and the culture, I miss everything. The longer that I am here in the states though, the more I know that I will be homesick for the U.S. when I get back to Thailand. My brain gets all jumbled and confused when I think about it because there doesn't seem to be a place where I am not homesick. I don't know if that makes sense, but it is what I feel.
After Christmas I am going back to San Diego with Tamara. I am so excited to spend time with her in the evenings after she gets off work. I know that spending all that time with her is going to make it harder to leave her when I go back to Thailand though. I am excited to spend time with my dogs, Suki and Sammy. I am excited to see all my friends from Amor and church and I am excited just to be back in San Diego. I really love it there and if I had to name a home city in the U.S. (simply for the sake of the city and not the people), it would definitely be San Diego.
I don't know what else to write.
I found a box full of my mom's old costumes today and dressed up as a racoon, including the tail, ears, whiskers, etc. My family thinks I am weird but I think that I make life more interesting for those around me. Who wouldn't want to see I 5 foot racoon walk into the room? I'll post a picture soon because I course I had mom take one. :)
I also just want to mention that I am reading the book "Eragon" by Christopher Paolini and it is fantastic. If you are at all a fan of science fiction and fantasy books like I am, you should read it. I thinks it ranks up there with the Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter books and for those of you who don't know, I am a pretty die hard fan of those books! The movie Eragon comes out tomorrow and as soon as I finish the book, I will go see it.
Apparently I had more to say than I thought. I will try to write more often.
I think that I will talk about my travels. Back in November (before I left Thailand), Rachel and I decided to take a little vacation together. We flew south to Phuket and then took a two hour boat ride to the island of Phi Phi in Thailand. Apparently this island is an extremely popular tourist attraction due to the fact that the movie "The Beach" was filmed there and every single hotel room on the island was full. People were actually having to get back on the boat and leave right after they got there. Good thing we made a reservation. The island was beautiful and we had fun but I would prefer something a little less crowded.
While there, Rachel and I decided that we would try scuba diving because it was cheap and adventurous. Let me mention first that my biggest fear is drowning. I used to get sick in cars that went over bridges because I had a fear of plummeting into the water and not being able to get out of the car and therefore drowning. Ridiculous I know. I think that this fear stems from the fact that I had asthma really bad when I was younger and I remember what it feels to not be able to draw a breath. But I decided to put on a brave face and try scuba diving anyway. The night before we dived, we had to attend this training session that consisted of sitting at a table and listening to a guy talk. There was no water involved yet but I found myself hyperventilating just at the thought of being so far under the water. That should have been a big enough sign and had I listened to the voices screaming inside my head, I would have canceled the dive right then. But I wanted to be brave. Anyway, I won't go into any more details and bore you, but the story ends with me losing consciousness under the water having to be brought back up to the boat by the guide. I have never been so scared in my life as I was when I regained consciousness and was still under the water with the world spinning around me. I will never go scuba diving again. Okay, I might try it again years down the road when I have forgotten the terror I felt that day. They make it look so easy in the movies...
My next trip was to the states. I flew from Chiang Mai to Bangkok, Bangkok to Taipei and then Taipei to San Francisco. The flights were completely uneventful except for some turbulence on the last flight and I was so happy to be back in the U.S. I keep thinking that someday I will get used to flying because I seem to do so much of it, but I hate it every single time.
I have been here for almost a month now and it is good to see my friends and family here. I spent some time in San Jose and then a couple days in San Diego and now I am in Missouri. When I got here there was snow on the ground and I thought that I was going to freeze to death. My body has definitely acclimated to the Thailand heat and humidity! It is supposed to snow again on Christmas which will be my very first white christmas that I can remember.
I miss Thailand. I miss my friends and my dog and The Centre and the culture, I miss everything. The longer that I am here in the states though, the more I know that I will be homesick for the U.S. when I get back to Thailand. My brain gets all jumbled and confused when I think about it because there doesn't seem to be a place where I am not homesick. I don't know if that makes sense, but it is what I feel.
After Christmas I am going back to San Diego with Tamara. I am so excited to spend time with her in the evenings after she gets off work. I know that spending all that time with her is going to make it harder to leave her when I go back to Thailand though. I am excited to spend time with my dogs, Suki and Sammy. I am excited to see all my friends from Amor and church and I am excited just to be back in San Diego. I really love it there and if I had to name a home city in the U.S. (simply for the sake of the city and not the people), it would definitely be San Diego.
I don't know what else to write.
I found a box full of my mom's old costumes today and dressed up as a racoon, including the tail, ears, whiskers, etc. My family thinks I am weird but I think that I make life more interesting for those around me. Who wouldn't want to see I 5 foot racoon walk into the room? I'll post a picture soon because I course I had mom take one. :)
I also just want to mention that I am reading the book "Eragon" by Christopher Paolini and it is fantastic. If you are at all a fan of science fiction and fantasy books like I am, you should read it. I thinks it ranks up there with the Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter books and for those of you who don't know, I am a pretty die hard fan of those books! The movie Eragon comes out tomorrow and as soon as I finish the book, I will go see it.
Apparently I had more to say than I thought. I will try to write more often.
Friday, November 17, 2006
Bad Jen
I have found myself getting really annoyed with people lately. This morning I was running around trying to figure out something for someone who easily could have done it a week ago and instead waited until the last minute and had me do it instead. A few days ago I was so frustrated with my scuba diving instructor that when he made a rude, sarcastic comment to me, I responded with an even ruder, more sarcastic comment. A few days before that I was so annoyed with cleaning up a mess caused by someone else that directly affected me instead of them and I told a friend all about how frustrated I was, in some not so nice terms. Usually I am really good about turning the other cheek when needed or having just the right amount of patience. I'm not sure what is going on with me, but I don't like this Jen. Maybe it is just the stress of going home, I hope so anyway.
By the way, I leave tomorrow morning for the states...
By the way, I leave tomorrow morning for the states...
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