Emotional Range of a Teaspoon

Those of you who know me, know that I'm a HUGE Harry Potter fan. A pre-order all the books, stay up for midnight shows, often quotes the books and relates them to every day life, owns a plastic wand kind of fan. One of my favorite quotes comes from The Order of the Phoenix when Hermoine is explaining Cho Chang to Harry and Ron and the following exchange happens:

"One person can't feel all that at once, they'd explode." -Ron

"Ron, just because you have the emotional range of a teaspoon doesn't mean we all have." -Hermoine

Every once in a while, usually when I'm caught up in some emotional roller-coaster, I think that it would be a lot easier to be a man. Men seem to be less emotional, more practical. I'm not saying that they all have the "emotional range of a teaspoon" but it's better than having the emotional range of the Pacific Ocean. So yes, sometimes I wish I was a man. Am I alone in wishing that? Maybe I am, maybe I'm not. Either way, I accept the weirdness of it, and I move on. :)

This past week was a really emotional week for me. At different points in time I was happy, sad, angry, joyful, frustrated, downright annoyed, thankful, exhausted, excited etc. In the midst of my emotional roller-coasters I tend to want to curl up, fall asleep and not wake up until my emotions have evened out. However, when the ride is finished I like to look back and figure out if I learned anything from it. Was there anything that God was trying to teach me or was it simply circumstances and hormones?

Today I looked back on the past week and once again, God brought Ruth to my mind. He's been doing that a lot lately. Ruth has always been my favorite woman in the bible and I've read her story a million times (okay, I exaggerate a little bit) because she inspires me so much. She was brave, wise, hard working, loyal, obedient and blessed. Ruth had some horrible stuff happen to her but she followed where God led her and He blessed her because of it. She left her country, family, home and moved to a country where her people were not accepted. Even after her husband died, she remained loyal to her mother-in-law and followed God. Out of love, she threw herself into a menial job amongst people who should have hated her and I imagine she did it all with a smile on her face. In the end she was blessed with acceptance and someone to love her and care for her for the rest of her life. I believe that when people looked at Ruth, they saw God.

I want to be like Ruth. I want to be unconditionally loyal to the people in my life. I want to work hard, without being asked, even if the job given me seems menial and boring. I want to be brave (don't we all!). I want to be obedient to those above me without feeling like I hate being told what to do (something I struggle with sometimes). I want to have God-given wisdom in every area of my life. And I want to look back and know that God has blessed me for following Him wherever he called. And more than anything, I want people to see God when they look at me. I want His presence and love to pour out of me so that the people I come in contact with can't help but be changed by Him.

That's not too much to ask for, is it? :)

I'm not sure exactly why God used this emotional roller coaster to show me these specific things, but I'm happy to be reminded. Lord, feel free to remind me anytime!

"I'm not saying that I have this all together, that I have it made. But I am well on my way, reaching out for Christ, who has so wondrously reached out for me. Friends, don't get me wrong: By no means do I count myself an expert in all of this, but I've got my eye on the goal, where God is beckoning us onward—to Jesus. I'm off and running, and I'm not turning back." -Philippians 3:12-14 (The Message)

"Summertime and the livin is easy..."

Each year as March creeps closer, I start cringing in anticipation of another Thailand summer. I'm a winter person at heart. At least I used to be, but after five years in Thailand I'm now a bit of a wimp in the cold. But I still prefer cold to hot. I love layering on clothes and curling up under piles of blankets at night. I love fireplaces and sitting next to the heater. I love the whole process of trying to get warm. I don't, however, love trying to get cool. There's only so much you can do, so many layers you can remove before you can no longer leave your house.

I'm pretty sure that God chuckled a little bit and His sense of humor came out on the day He decided to send me to Thailand. Thailand, a country that is hot 98% of the time. A country where the summers get so hot and humid you feel like you are breathing water. A country where you sweat so much that three showers a day just doesn't feel like enough.

And once again, here it is. Summer has arrived, my prayers that it would forget to come this year did not work. (insert sigh of frustration...)

The heat tends to make me lazy, I start procrastinating and don't want to leave my house.

And every year at this time, I start looking back on my life and wondering if I've accomplished enough. Sometimes I look back and feel incredibly accomplished, like I'm living the life I am supposed to live and doing more than I ever imagined. Other times I look back and feel like I have accomplished nothing, that I'm lazy and need to do so much more. Today I felt the latter. So I decided to fight it because it is obviously the devil whispering lies in my ear. He knows how to bring me down and I've decided that I'm not going to let him do it this time. I've decided to be positive and start writing down my accomplishments, the things the Lord has helped me to do.

So devil, you may as well back off, because you are not going to win this one!

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me!" -Phil. 4:13