Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Content or Bored?

Do you ever find yourself coasting through life completely content? Do you find yourself happy and when you look back at the end of each day, you realize that you laughed a lot and have some pretty incredible friends? Life is good and you have a lot to be thankful for, more than most people you know. And yet, after a while of feeling content you start forgetting to be thankful to the One who deserves the thanks. You grow so comfortable that you forget to spend any one on one time with the One who has given you this happiness. You grow bored reading His words simply because you are too focused on yourself and how life makes you feel.

I found myself in this place last week and am now working on pulling myself out of it. It has become very apparent to me that I have the ability to break God's heart and that is the last thing that I want to do. After all, He is the one who has blessed me with this incredible life and journey that I am on, I never could have gotten here on my own. I need to figure out how to be completely happy and still rely on God like I do when life is falling apart. Pray for me.

Monday, February 19, 2007

The person that I long to be versus the person that I am

I long to be a strong woman who can take care of herself and never cries or shows pain, but I am not.

Yesterday after church I went to the hospital to take care of a problem with my foot and walked out later with a pretty large hole in the bottom of my foot. I thought that I was pretty tough because it didn't hurt and I never even cried during the procedure. An hour later when the numbness wore off, I was no longer that tough, strong woman that I long to be. But I went to help I friend move anyway and tried to push through the pain. Unfortunately I overdid it, tripped and smashed my finger extremely badly. Within seconds it was four times the normal size and dark purple. I have to give myself credit though because I still didn't cry. I did shake quite a bit though. Today my finger is still twice its normal size and I can't bend it all the way. Maybe it is broken.

I wish that I was stronger.

I also long to be the kind of women who can take care of herself and do things like fix cars and build stuff, but I'm not.

On Saturday I accidentally locked the spare bedroom door in my house and closed it. I tried to be like Tamara (who is like MacGuyver) and pick the lock with bobby pins, but after thirty minutes of trying I gave up and called Nathan and Paul to come help me. They came over and had the door open within minutes, thanks to Nathan's long arms. Yesterday (Sunday) after the foot surgery and the finger smashing, I could not drive my motor bike home so Nathan had to drive me. While he and Paul were there, I talked them into helping me move some furniture. Tonight Nathan is coming over to help me hook up my washing machine because I have failed to figure it out on my own. Thank goodness I have people around to take care of me.

I wish that I was stronger

Thursday, February 15, 2007

This is Tamara


This is Tam. Just wanted to tell you all to check out Jenni's new Flickr Photo Badge! If you click on it it will send you directly to her photo blog. I have also added a pic for her profile...
I straight up pimped her page yo! (in less gangster terms, I fixed her page up a bit and added a few fun little doo-dads.)
peace.
Tam