New Blog

After about 8 years on Blogger I have decided to move my blog over to WordPress. So come on over and read my latest ranting at:

www.jleeperphotography.com

Sin

This one's for you Fav, you should use it in one of your sermons. :)

A Story of Victory

If you like to read blogs, you should definitely follow my friend Karyn and her blog Girl of Cardigan. She has an honest way of writing that always leaves me pondering the meaning of life. Or the meaning of fashion. Or ways to save money...

Anyway I was catching up on her blog tonight when I came across this gem. It got me thinking about the victory that we already have in God. I'm going through my own personal stuff right now, we all are. And I'm really good at putting my struggles in perspective when I'm hanging out with orphans, rescuing people from the sex trade or in general just surrounded by a godless people in a godless nation. (That last sentence makes me sound way cooler than I am, definitely not tooting my own horn!) But I get home at the end of the day and I curl up in bed with my dogs and all my personal stuff comes rushing back in. How often do I acknowledge the victory that is already mine and give it all to God? Not very often. It's more likely that I fall asleep pleading with God to fix all that is wrong and give me a little peace.

But the victory is already mine, the battle has already been won. God doesn't need me pleading and begging for world peace, He's already got it in the bag, without my help. So I am trying to learn to give everything to him and rest in the victory He has given me. Seems much easier to do it His way.

Before I sign off, I have to share my favorite part of Karyn's post which I am still pondering (go read the whole thing!):

So often I look at people and forget to notice that they are more than the moments I’ve witnessed. We’re all wandering around with our baggage and our scars, and each one of us will remain a total mystery to a huge percentage of the folks we’ll meet. It’s comforting and terrifying, this knowing that we have all had to do our own overcoming, that each of us is breakable, that we have all returned from our own unimaginables.

Identity in Christ

There's a moment when you suddenly realize that you've placed a large portion of your identity in a person rather than God. Unfortunately that moment usually comes when that person fails you. Fortunately there is a God, the only true God, who is waiting to make you feel whole again. How lucky are we?!

Pagers

The following is a conversation I just had with Tam on Kik (which is awesome, btw. If you have it, let me know and we can chat.):

(Tam is in blue, I'm in green.)

Remember when you had a pager?

You were so cool.

Awesome.

I would page you and wait and wait for you to call.

And be like, "I typed 911, why isn't she calling?"

And I'd have to find a pay phone and then money to call you.

What was your code so that I knew it was you?

81

You're so 1996.

That is totally the year I got my first pager, I felt so cool wearing it. Sometimes I'd pull it out and look at it just so people would think I was important.

Or you would make it buzz.

I was rad.

I love technology and the fact that I can chat real time with my sister from the other side of the world for free.

I don't miss my pager or faking my importance...

Compliments From The Unknown

So I'm walking through the mall today and this woman comes up next to me, turns her head 90 degrees and stares at me. I look at her, smile and continue walking but she doesn't stop staring or walking right beside me. I look at her again thinking that maybe I know her, but I don't so I stop and smile at her again. She stops also and the following conversation happens (all in Thai but I'll translate it to English just cause I love you all).

unknown woman: "You are so beautiful."

me: "Wow, thank you."

unknown woman: "Oh! You speak Thai?"

me: "Yes, some."

unknown woman: "You are beautiful, so beautiful. Are you American?"

me: "Yes."

unknown woman, said while stroking my arm: "Oh. You are beautiful, I like you."

me: "Thank you so much."

And then we parted ways. I have to say that I like that unknown woman, she made my day. :)

Emotional Range of a Teaspoon

Those of you who know me, know that I'm a HUGE Harry Potter fan. A pre-order all the books, stay up for midnight shows, often quotes the books and relates them to every day life, owns a plastic wand kind of fan. One of my favorite quotes comes from The Order of the Phoenix when Hermoine is explaining Cho Chang to Harry and Ron and the following exchange happens:

"One person can't feel all that at once, they'd explode." -Ron

"Ron, just because you have the emotional range of a teaspoon doesn't mean we all have." -Hermoine

Every once in a while, usually when I'm caught up in some emotional roller-coaster, I think that it would be a lot easier to be a man. Men seem to be less emotional, more practical. I'm not saying that they all have the "emotional range of a teaspoon" but it's better than having the emotional range of the Pacific Ocean. So yes, sometimes I wish I was a man. Am I alone in wishing that? Maybe I am, maybe I'm not. Either way, I accept the weirdness of it, and I move on. :)

This past week was a really emotional week for me. At different points in time I was happy, sad, angry, joyful, frustrated, downright annoyed, thankful, exhausted, excited etc. In the midst of my emotional roller-coasters I tend to want to curl up, fall asleep and not wake up until my emotions have evened out. However, when the ride is finished I like to look back and figure out if I learned anything from it. Was there anything that God was trying to teach me or was it simply circumstances and hormones?

Today I looked back on the past week and once again, God brought Ruth to my mind. He's been doing that a lot lately. Ruth has always been my favorite woman in the bible and I've read her story a million times (okay, I exaggerate a little bit) because she inspires me so much. She was brave, wise, hard working, loyal, obedient and blessed. Ruth had some horrible stuff happen to her but she followed where God led her and He blessed her because of it. She left her country, family, home and moved to a country where her people were not accepted. Even after her husband died, she remained loyal to her mother-in-law and followed God. Out of love, she threw herself into a menial job amongst people who should have hated her and I imagine she did it all with a smile on her face. In the end she was blessed with acceptance and someone to love her and care for her for the rest of her life. I believe that when people looked at Ruth, they saw God.

I want to be like Ruth. I want to be unconditionally loyal to the people in my life. I want to work hard, without being asked, even if the job given me seems menial and boring. I want to be brave (don't we all!). I want to be obedient to those above me without feeling like I hate being told what to do (something I struggle with sometimes). I want to have God-given wisdom in every area of my life. And I want to look back and know that God has blessed me for following Him wherever he called. And more than anything, I want people to see God when they look at me. I want His presence and love to pour out of me so that the people I come in contact with can't help but be changed by Him.

That's not too much to ask for, is it? :)

I'm not sure exactly why God used this emotional roller coaster to show me these specific things, but I'm happy to be reminded. Lord, feel free to remind me anytime!

"I'm not saying that I have this all together, that I have it made. But I am well on my way, reaching out for Christ, who has so wondrously reached out for me. Friends, don't get me wrong: By no means do I count myself an expert in all of this, but I've got my eye on the goal, where God is beckoning us onward—to Jesus. I'm off and running, and I'm not turning back." -Philippians 3:12-14 (The Message)

"Summertime and the livin is easy..."

Each year as March creeps closer, I start cringing in anticipation of another Thailand summer. I'm a winter person at heart. At least I used to be, but after five years in Thailand I'm now a bit of a wimp in the cold. But I still prefer cold to hot. I love layering on clothes and curling up under piles of blankets at night. I love fireplaces and sitting next to the heater. I love the whole process of trying to get warm. I don't, however, love trying to get cool. There's only so much you can do, so many layers you can remove before you can no longer leave your house.

I'm pretty sure that God chuckled a little bit and His sense of humor came out on the day He decided to send me to Thailand. Thailand, a country that is hot 98% of the time. A country where the summers get so hot and humid you feel like you are breathing water. A country where you sweat so much that three showers a day just doesn't feel like enough.

And once again, here it is. Summer has arrived, my prayers that it would forget to come this year did not work. (insert sigh of frustration...)

The heat tends to make me lazy, I start procrastinating and don't want to leave my house.

And every year at this time, I start looking back on my life and wondering if I've accomplished enough. Sometimes I look back and feel incredibly accomplished, like I'm living the life I am supposed to live and doing more than I ever imagined. Other times I look back and feel like I have accomplished nothing, that I'm lazy and need to do so much more. Today I felt the latter. So I decided to fight it because it is obviously the devil whispering lies in my ear. He knows how to bring me down and I've decided that I'm not going to let him do it this time. I've decided to be positive and start writing down my accomplishments, the things the Lord has helped me to do.

So devil, you may as well back off, because you are not going to win this one!

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me!" -Phil. 4:13

Under the Red Lights

A while back I stumbled across a blog which I quickly fell in love with. The writer and her husband were getting ready to move to Chiang Mai to do missions work so I sent her a quick email to let her know that another Thailand missionary was praying for them. Unexpectedly she emailed back, we became friends on Facebook and now keep in touch. Ericka and Rusty have now been in Thailand for a few weeks and I'm looking forward to meeting them (in person) when I get back to Chiang Mai in a couple weeks.

They recently posted this video on their blog and it really touched me because it shows such raw emotion about something that is very common place in Thailand. It's something that people don't like to talk about but it's a problem that runs rampant and needs to be stopped. Even after 5+ years, it still hurts me every time I see it, which is sometimes daily. Anyway, I wanted to share this video so others will be aware of the problem and be praying!!

Under the Red Lights from Rusty Jackson on Vimeo.