Stress

new friends

Whenever my job stresses me out to the point of not remembering why I am here, I look at this picture. Everything Amor does is for kids like this and their families...

Today I realized that I have been a bit selfish lately. I have been so stressed out and busy at work and all I have been thinking about is getting my stuff done without breaking down in tears or screaming. Last week I spent a lot of time vocalizing my anger about different groups coming on trips, different rules or policies here that seem absolutely ridiculous or the fact that my computer and phone never seem to work properly when I am busy. My job requires me to be on the phone and computer all day long, how am I supposed to successfully do my job when nothing works correctly?! The week before last, I spent a lot of time crying. I couldn't handle the rude trip leaders who always seem to take out their anger on me even though their anger has nothing to do with me. One day I cried for 45 minutes straight before finally grabbing me stuff and going home. I cried the entire way home also. I am burnt out on my job and this is the busiest time of the year for Amor. So every day I go to work and I focus on getting myself through the day without another outburst. This morning I stopped focusing on myself for a moment and realized that a lot of my co-workers look like they are about to lose it as well. Lydia's dad got really sick last week and is in the hospital. Several years ago he had a stroke and has been living in a home ever since. Lydia has been spending every night in the hospital with him and he does not even recognize her. The doctors are afraid that he might have another stroke at any moment. Yet Lydia comes to work every day with a smile on her face and does her job. Today I walked by her desk and she complimented me on my sweater and my new hair cut. I walked away thinking that if my dad were in the hospital in such bad shape, I would not be acting so nice. Katie's car broke down the other day, actually her car is always breaking down. But this time it is going to cost so much money to fix that it is probably not worth fixing. Her living situation is so stress ridden and dramatic that she never wants to go home, last week she spent two nights at my house just so she would not have to be around her roommates. She has so much going on yet she is one of my favorite people to around. Sometimes when I am stressed I go and sit by her desk because I know that she can make me smile and laugh. Last week Katie brought me Jamba Juice for breakfast just because she knew I would enjoy it. Lydia and Katie are just two of my co-workers, if I wrote about the stress that all the others are carrying, this blog would never end. I am a selfish person to not have clearly seen my friends and co-workers faces before today. I bet that I would be a lot happier if I spent more time loving them and less time focusing on myself...