How often do we stop and look at our lives and feel honest-to-God contentment? In my opinion, not often enough.
Tonight I was driving home when I managed to get behind a large, dump-style truck filled with blocks of ice. Due to the heat, the ice was slowly melting causing a steady stream of ice water to flow off the back of the truck. I was riding my motor bike in shorts and a t-shirt and it was wonderful! I almost followed that truck home instead of continuing on to my own house. You see, it is hot here, really hot. And that ice truck was heavenly gift to cool me off. :)
As I was driving along enjoying the portable air conditioning, I couldn't help but sigh with contentment. For the first time since my sister died in 2006, I feel happy and content. There is not the usual sense of a ten ton burden on my shoulders weighing me down until I feel like I can't move. I was so angry with Tiffany for most of her life and even more so after her death and I had no idea how to get rid of that burden. But I recently discovered the power of forgiveness and it turned my life around. I am laughing a lot more. I'm enjoying moments where I can sit and be quiet without my brain going 100 mph. I can hear God again and I don't feel like hiding from him. And I can sleep again.
Life is good. Thank you Mr. Ice Truck for once again making me realize how lucky I am.
3 comments:
Your new blog skin is beautiful.
I love that you not only say you are happy, but that it's so obvious in your spiritual life. You are my hero, always.
For me, the hardest part of my mom dying was that I never got the chance to tell her how she hurt me, how she damaged me so severely that it has taken me 10 years to let go that pain.
Yet, I love her more than ever for what brought to my life that is good, right and wonderful. Once the pain is addressed suddenly the good memories fill their place.
Love you,
Wendy
Thanks for the comment Wendy! You are right about the good memories replacing the pain. I spent two years trying to find one good memory of Tiffany and sometimes I would just cry because I couldn't think of any. Once I started forgiving, the memories came flooding in and now I have many. I've noticed that God gives me memories through my dreams and I will wake up remembering something that happened ten years ago, I love that He communicates to me that way! Love you too!
Nice honest post.
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