2nd post of the day. This one is a bit happier.

Do you ever feel like your life is missing something? Do you ever feel like you are running in circles? For a while the circles are okay because life is good and you don't realize that there is so much more. Then one day you do realize there is more and suddenly you are on a journey.

I am on a journey right now, a journey of faith. I have been studying about the Holy Spirit lately and I've realized that my faith is so small. There is so much more to God and a life of faith than I've ever realized. I have never claimed to know everything or even a lot but I was pretty settled in what I knew about God. I was content to run in circles and live out my faith as I always had.

I realize I'm rambling, but bear with me, I promise that I have a point.

You see, I have realized that I've kept my faith in a nice, neat little box. That was okay because I love God and I'm letting him use me. But now, through my studies about the Holy Spirit, I know that there is so much more to God and my future in him than what I have allowed in that nice, neat little box. I am on a journey of discovery. I want to know the Holy Spirit more intimately. I want to understand the gifts of the Spirit instead of wanting to run away when I hear people talking about them. In fact, I want the gifts of the Spirit for myself. I want to speak to God in a heavenly language when I don't know what to say in my own language. A couple months ago someone prophecied over me and what he said about my life seemed impossible at the time. Maybe now I am starting to understand the prophecy.

I realize that I am still rambling and I am not so sure that I have a point anymore, but keep reading anyway.

Recently I was talked to Mel and Nathan about this journey I am on. I told them that I am excited about the new things I am discovering about God and myself but I am scared about changing and growing in my faith too drastically. I am afraid of going back to the states one day and being too different from my family and friends. Not because they are not growing but because we are growing in different ways. I am afraid of becoming one of those weird Christians who has lived in a foreign culture for so long that they can't relate to anyone in their own culture anymore. I am afraid of growing out of the box that has been my faith up until now. In response to me, Nathan had some wise words. He said, "You can't think of it as growing out of your faith, you have to think of it as growing in your faith. And what could be wrong with that?"

What could be wrong with that? Nothing.