Today I had lunch with my friend, Mel and somehow we got on the subject of whether or not her and her husband ever get tired of each other. They live together, they work together, they hang out together and they are almost never apart. I told her that I can't imagine being around one person that much and I might get tired of that person. She said that they don't get tired of eachother, they just love eachother and cannot get enough of eachother. I said that is really cool but I don't think that I could do it. Mel said that I just haven't found the right person yet but when I do, I won't be able to get enough of them.
That conversation led to a discussion about when I am going to get married. All the singles reading this, don't you love it when people say "When are you going to get married?" They act like we could just pick a date on the calendar and by then we will find our prince charming and be married. If it were that easy, there would be a lot more happy couples in this world. Anyway, when living in a foreign country and talking about marriage, people always ask if I want to marry a farang (foreigner, westerner) or a Thai. Sometimes I wonder if I missed an application somewhere with a box where I am supposed to check farang or Thai. Apparently I am already supposed to know the answer to this question and I just don't. If I knew who I was going to marry, this whole subject would be easier to talk about.
That question led to a discussion about the pros and cons of marrying Thais versus farangs. The biggest problem with marrying a farang while here on the mission field is that there are no single, western guys out here. I am not sure why but single men do not seem to be drawn to the mission field. The problem with marrying a Thai person is the cultural differences. I spend every day struggling to communicate with everyone around me and I can't imagine doing that with my husband.
At this point in the conversation I said, "I can't believe we have been talking about marriage for so long. What started this?" We both laughed and started talking about other things, but the question still remains in my mind: How can you spend so much time with a person and not grow tired of them?
On that note, Tamara just told me that I need to join NaBloPoMo which means that I will be blogging every single day during the November. Except for yesterday and the day before of course. Will you become bored of me?
4 comments:
No, we won't grow bored with you Jen.
As for being married and growing tired with the spouse... tired is not the right word.
I don't know how your friend Mel does it. If I worked with Steph, we'd both go nuts. Very few married folks I know would be able to do that. I wouldn't call Mel the norm. :-)
I don't grow tired/bored of Steph because she is ever changing (she's female, isn't she? :-) ). But there are definitely moments when I need to be away from her (to relax alone, to be around just guys, to let off steam in a healthy way, etc.)
And you should definitely marry a farang. You need to marry somebody who's significantly taller than you. Steph wouldn't use half of our kitchen cabinet space if it weren't for me being able to reach it...
Have a good day Jenni Penni Pumpkin Head!
Found your blog through NaBloPoMo...
I'm 28, single, and so very tired of the "when will you get married" question. It's sort of a knee-jerk reaction for people, I think, when asking about life. But it does carry the connotations that it's a choice to be single, and that somewhere along the way, surely you made the wrong choice to still be unmarried.
Jenni - how could we ever grow bored with you? You are cute and brilliant and thought provoking and know how to throw a party! :-)
As I cruise into my 50's, I think about the aspects of being married that have nothing to do with Prince Charming. I think of sex (without Christian guilt) and a 2nd income. But I also think about sharing the bathroom, closets, and time. I think about how I have pretty much lead a selfish life having no one to share it with.
I agree, the "when are you going to get married" question is just as odd as "do you want children" question. I am not dating anyone. The last guy I dated was voted the worst match for me ever. I cannot just say, "today I will marry" anymore than I can say, "today I will be a mother." I cannot imagine raising a child on my own, so if I cannot find someone to marry how will I even find someone to help me parent. Well, as I said, as I roll into my 50's...childless is a given now! LOL
I agree with Allen - you should choose farang. Not because you couldn't bridge cultural differences. Because you need the man you spend the rest of your life with to be someone who is like coming home no matter where you are in the world. He needs to be your shelter and your champion. He is out there waiting for you. Be open.
You came up on the NaBloPoMo randomizer! woo hoo!! Third hit!
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